Caring For Students - Advice for Students

 

Advice for Students

 

There is a part that you need to play to stop being bullied. Use the links on the left to get advice about what to do if you are being bullied and ways that may help to fix this problem yourself. If this is not working or there bullying is very serious, then you need to report the bullying by speaking to a teacher or by clicking on the picture below to fill in an online bullying report.

I'm being bullied but I want to stop it without reporting it!

We know you don't want to tell on someone about bullying if you can help it. So we have put together some strategies to cope if it is happening to you. If you try some of these together and they don't work, then you need to tell someone.
Don't be miserable so that someone else can have a laugh. If you are being bullied there are some things that you can do to stop it happening:

Do something about it!

Just sitting there and taking it is different from ignoring it. It's your well being so make the decision to make it stop. Give them a fair opportunity to get the hint to stop but then be prepared to do something about it yourself. It will not change overnight, so get ready for the long and bumpy ride.

But don't retaliate!

A few things happen when you retaliate and they happen every time:

  • The bully gets the reaction they wanted. They know they got to you because you answered back or hit them back or reacted in some way.
  • You get upset and you keep thinking about it afterwards.
  • If you make a scene, you get the consequence. You get in trouble for disturbing the class or for hitting them or getting in a fight.
  • You become the target for more people to bully you. You become the show that people want to see and they will taunt you to see it.

So be the bigger person. Do something about it, but do it in a reasonable way.

Be a person who is worthy of respect.

This takes time but if you don't want to be bullied, be a person who is worthy of respect.

  • Think about the language that you use when speaking to people.
  • Don't be a person who shouts to get their point across.
  • Respect the personal space of others.
  • Treat people the way you want to be treated:
  • You don't like to be called names.
  • You don't like rumours spread about you.
  • You don't like it when your stuff is taken or wrecked.
  • Do something that uses your talents whether it be in art, music or sport.

How you carry yourself.

  • This is about how you walk around. How are other people seeing you? Do they see you as a target or do they not notice you at all?
  • Carry yourself with confidence. Head up, shoulders back, smile on your face. No-one bullies a happy person. It's too much hard work.
  • If you have to pass the bully, don't look at them. That is the reason they need to start another round of bullying. Usually they would start with "What are you looking at" and then say you were giving them "Filthy's" when you passed by.

Do something in your break times.

If all you do is sit around in one spot then you will be a target for someone who is bored and wants to start rumours or trouble. Some ideas for this:\

  • Play a game in the playground: handball/touch football/basketball/bullrush... anything where you interact with people in a good way and move around.
  • Go to the library and play a game.
  • Go the the SOL room at the bottom of East Block
  • Walk and talk with your friends instead of staying in one place.
  • Join a team that trains at these times
  • Join a band/performance group that practices at these times. Do something in your break times.

Have a Safe Place

Have a safe place to go to if you are being harassed.

  • The Sol Room.
  • The Library.
  • Near a teacher in the playground.
  • Touch base with a mentor.

Confrontations

If you are confronted by someone who bullies you, then try some of these strategies:

  • Ignore it and tell yourself this at the time. Bullies will recognise this tactic and try to break you, but if it becomes a bigger effort to bully you and get a reaction, they will move on. Try it a few times to begin with.
  • Have a COOL RESPONSE: This is a hard one. But it is a response where the bully cannot take offence.
  • Don't shout it, just say it in your normal voice. That way the bully needs to ask for the response again and will look like they don't have a comeback.
  • Some examples are: "Whatever", "If that's what you think mate", "Yeah that's heaps funny. You're such a comedian."
  • If they mimic you or copy what you are saying, just ignore it because they obviously have nothing else to say about you.

Do Not:

  • Hit Back.
  • Repeat the behaviour back to the bully.
  • Get your friends involved in getting the person back.
  • Go online and taunt them through your mobile phone, Chat program or social networking site.

 

Report it until action is taken

If you have tried these things and they have not worked, then you have given the bully every chance to stop. You have considered them and it is now time to consider yourself. Report the bully by any of these ways:

  • Report it to your Roll Call Teacher
  • Report it to your Year Adviser
  • Make an online report by clicking on the picture below

I Want To Help My Friend.

As a friend, there are lots of things that you can do to help... and lots of things that can actually make the situation worse.
Your role should be to support your friend to get over the bullying, not take the matters in your own hands. Here are some suggestions that we have found are useful for people:

Remember your Intention is to help your friend

This might sound silly but it is amazing how many behaviours a friend can do that actually make the problem worse and then make it more complex. In the end many friendships are broken because friends have given the wrong type of support. These are things that you should not do:

  • Get involved in the fight.
  • Spread rumours about the other person or group.
  • Get more people involved in getting revenge on the bully.
  • Hit the bully or make a scene.
  • All of these things make it harder for your friend to cope with it or sort it out. It also makes things very complicated when they get to a point where adults need to get involved.

Smart Ways to Support your Friend

  • Listen to them when they are upset. But don't make it focus of all of your time together.
  • Talk about it for a bit, but then do something else that is positive and fun. You need to base your friendship on fun experiences, not saving each other all the time. This will also give your friend's head a break from thinking about it.
  • Give smart advice on how to deal with it themselves. (Read the page "I want to stop being bullied") and then give them the moral support to follow the advice. This is also a good chance for you to talk them up a bit and boost their self confidence up.
  • If it is too big for them to handle, then give them smart advice on reporting it to a teacher or online. Go with them or help them report it online. There is info on this site so you can be up on the process.
  • If there is a confrontation, try to get them out of there by leading them away through the crowd.
  • If it happens in a class, just talk them through being calm and reporting it to the teacher at the end of the period.